After that insanely morbid and twisted last entry, I have sorted things out with the people concerned. Now all thats left is for me to make my decisions.

Coming soon...

Cheers!

Well, it just had to happen sooner or later. The mojo had to die. And so it did.

I've just come to the shocking, though inevitable, conclusion that I'm just not good enough. Now, don't get me wrong. I'm still God in some of the little things that I do. But as far as a little something called love is considered, I just don't quite cut it.

Basically this means that I'm just not quite cut out to be a boyfriend or anything more than a friend. I mean, this doesn't quite detract from the point that I might be great as a friend, but anything above and beyond that is exactly that. Beyond me.

Look at me. 22 years old. But ask anyone and they'll say that I have the emotional and mental level of a 15 year old, and that's being gracious. Hell, I'll probably be one of the first to accept that. And that's probably why I end up being such a good friend (Note: that's just me saying this. Contrary opinions are invited). Cuz I'm just this easy going bum, who doesn't take anything seriously and hence can get along with almost anybody. And that's probably where I fail in the stakes. Doesn't every girl want stability and someone to lean on? God knows, I ain't one of them. I knew it, just discarded it as one of those weird things that my mind conjures at times.

And trust? How's someone supposed to trust a person who doesn't even know what he might do in the next 5 minutes? A person who doesn't even trust himself? Ahem, can you say freaky? Trust doesn't quite grow on trees. Gaining it requres a lot more effort than losing it.

What I saw was this guy using coolness and an easy-going manner as a facade for indecision, vacillation and downright childishness. Who used the excuse of not wanting to be in a committed relation, when he knew that it wouldn't work out even if he tried. Tch Tch. And this was a person who claimed to wear his heart on his sleeve and preached fortrightness to be next to godliness. Ha! What a fake!

Who would ever trust someone like this?

Everyone's probably wondering how in the world did I even come upon this topic. I think I can blame my college for this as well. I do know that it sounds really weird, but then that's me, weird.

During the recent upheaval in my college regarding my degree, I was forced to look upon what was in store for me in case everything went down the wire. I took a long, hard look at the past 4-5 years and what I've been upto. Hate saying this, but what I saw wasn't something even I liked.

This has unfortunately put a spanner in my works. Certain things will have to be left unsaid and I'll just have to bite the bullet and delay something indefinitely. Maybe for... who knows how long? And this was something I'd been waiting for, prepared for. All down the drain I say.

I'm gonna stop now and get a grip on myself. I'm not gonna be in the doldrums or anything of that sort. A setback to my God ego, but one which I shall ride over. Not to worry, I will be back. I always am :)

Cheers!

PS: If anyone decides to bring up this topic in conversation with me, I shall flatly deny any involvement in writing this entry and have my lawyers call him/her. You were warned!

I knew it. It just had to happen sooner or later. And unfortunately for me, it happened just when I thought I was out of it for good.

In case you've been off the news for a while, and scratching your collective heads as to the context in which I'm saying this, let me enlighten you.
My college (may it's soul rest in peace) is in absolute chaos and anarchy. And my college degree is in jeopardy, real serious jeopardy. After surviving for 4 years in this stoopid, insane and horrific institution that I was forced to refer to as "my college", I might just end up getting shortchanged with a B.Sc. degree, or even worse, a Diploma instead of the B.E. that I deserve. And it's not just about the degree. God only knows what our companies are going to do in case we get our degrees downgraded. One unemployed, downgraded degree engineer anyone?

Funny thing is that no matter how seriously I might be taking this, there's absolutely NOTHING I can do about this.

I'll just have to leave it to the management to resolve the issue, and hope for the best.

Tried to get drunk last night, but all that did was make me feel worse. Thankfully, there are still people who're willing to talk to me even at midnight :)

And in case you're want to know what is going on in my college, check out these links:

http://www.hindu.com/2006/03/02/stories/2006030208830400.htm

http://www.hindu.com/2006/03/02/stories/2006030208850400.htm

http://www.hindu.com/2006/03/02/stories/2006030208830600.htm

Addendum (3.03.06)

For the latest on the AICTE thing, see this link:

http://www.hindu.com/2006/03/03/stories/2006030315010800.htm

Latest intel suggests that my batch will get away safely. Here's hoping for the best.

Cheers!